Wednesday, November 25, 2009

You Are What You Say...

Sorry it's been so long since did a blog thing! I've been crazy busy, but I'm on a Thanksgiving/Fall/Christmas combined break so I have alot more time. Now, first and foremost, I want to tell whoever's reading that this is a MAJOR weakness of mine. Ok, I don't want you to think that I just sit here all day thinking of stuff to write about that OTHER people battle. I really struggle with my words. This little shpeal (I think that is how you spell it) has 5 different components that cover the importance of watching what you say. Those 5 things are gossip (behind the back), insults/criticism (to the face), honesty, the cuss words, and keeping your word. Now, these are not the ONLY things involved in watching what you say! There are others, but I consider these to be very important. If anyone has one that I just blatantly forgot about, leave it in the comment box. (if you want to)

A) Gossip. Uuuhh ok this is where I want to just scream at myself. I am so horrible about this, I could do it in my sleep, which is NOT a good thing. It is so hard to choose not to listen to stuff being said about someone else (Especially if you're not too keen on that person) and to not partake in the bashfest. It can be so damaging to a person's self-esteem. You know, sure, they don't hear you NOW. As much as you and I want to tell ourselves otherwise, it's gonna get to that person eventually and it's gonna hurt them. It could be as laidback as commenting on their clothing choice for the day, to as harsh and cruel as discussing their flaws and hating on their personality. Besides the fact that we wouldn't want it spread about us, God says not to do it! It hurts people, so why are we even doing it? We're just inviting people to gossip about how much we gossip. We do it to try to make ourselves feel better, but in truth, (for me anyway) I always feel worse about myself, cuz I know that I failed. I did what God says not to do, and that makes me feel worse.

B) Insults/Criticism. I'm not going to spend as much time on this, because alot is covered above when it comes to hurting others with our words. Whether it be directly to their face or behind their back, we are hurting others. I know alot of people who struggle with being mean to peoples' faces. Not to sound like I'm all goody-goody, but I don't struggle this is as much, so its harder to relate. I'm worse about "being nice" to someone's face and then ranting about them when they aren't around. The long and the short of it: There's no point to it. It can't make you feel good to know that you are mean when someone isn't around. It makes me feel bad anyway...

C) Honesty. Oh dear, I struggle with this too. My worst is deceiving or twisting the truth. It's a tad different than lying, but not much. If my parents ask me something, I will give a vague answer that IS true but not the way THEY perceive it. Does that make sense? Ok, example: My parents tell me I have to take my phone with me when I go to lunch with my friend, so they can reach me if they need to. I forget. My parents ask if I took my phone. If I pick up my phone and put it down again, I technically had my phone (for 2 seconds) and so I say "Yeah, I had my phone!" I am such a liar. My parents think I mean when I went with my friend, but I know that I only had it for 2 seconds but I HAD my phone. I wish I could give some advice to you fellow deceivers, but I'm in the same boat. The only thing I can do is say "Praying!" I could use some prayer in this area, but I have no idea how to fix it.

D) Cussing. Oh this is so hard too. Stupid mouths and our brains that control them. I am not as bad about just outright CUSSING about...I don't know, that grass over there, or that [expletive] pencil sharpener, etc. I am worse about accidental cussing or when I'm mad at someone. For instance, *toe hits wall and crunching noise is hard* As my face contorts in pain, I glare and just let the wall have it. Often if there is profanity in a joke, I just ignore it which isn't right!  It's really hard to not cuss sometimes to sound cool, but I started realizing that I just sound kinda dumb when I cuss. I'm so cool, I just said [expletive]. Look at me! I just [!@#$]! It's actually more fun to come up with creative words that express my frustration without messing up my witness for God. I still struggle, but its more fun to think of other things. For instance, words such as pickle, crackers, junk, mess, flippin, ham, etc. It throws people off, but they recognize that you are not cussing. I encourage you to do the same! It's fun and not dishonoring!

E) Keeping Promises. This is a toughie. I don't think she'll ever read this, but Abbie Storch (amazing girrrl) had really helped me with my promise keeping. I started realizing just how important it is, if someone asks to keep someting confidential, they mean it. Who am I to go off telling others stuff that isn't any of my business and not my place to do so? If people can't trust us, what's the point? We don't have much to our name, except our word. If we lie, break our word, or gossip, people won't trust us! Then we have no friends, and no one to fellowship with. Then you're all alone, (except for Jesus, of course) with a bad rep that we can't get rid of, cuz no one will talk to us. I don't know about you, but if someone won't tell me a secret they heard, I think its cool. Sure, I may be curious but I know that I can trust that person later.

Basically, I think that it will definitely be a struggle. However, there is absolutely no reason that we can't put up a fight with the world, who tears people down at the flip of a switch on magazines, tv, etc. It's just more fulfilling to ENJOY people, instead of nitpicking their minor faults and harboring hatred. There is a way to resolve conflicts without being mean to someone. They may not like what you have to say, but if you are nice about it, there is nothing else you can do. I'll end with this: Be the person that you expect your friends to be. If you want your friends to keep confidentialites to themselves, to tell you the truth no matter what, etc, then do the same for them. Challenge: Say only encouraging words for a day. You'll be on cloud 9!That's my.....5 cents (haha)

Proverbs 16:24 (all time favorite)
Pleasant words are like a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.

Matthew 12:36
But I tell you that men will have to give account on the day of judgment for every careless word they have spoken.


  1. I dont know anyone our ae who DOESN'T struggle with these issues, issues we face every day. Thanks for the reminder. We all have to be strong in Christ!

  2. You did miss one....receiving compliments ;)